20 years ago late this afternoon Daddy died. The years have flown in some ways, and in others it seems like forever since we lost him. I wish he could have enjoyed his granddaughters longer, and that they could have enjoyed him longer too, and finally, that he could have seen his great-granddaughters, he'd have delighted in them. If he were still here, I doubt I'd have learned how hard it can be to borrow money, nor how to drive a tractor, or repair a broken water pipe, and lots of other things like that - but it's good that I learned those things, he'd taken care of too much too long. I think he'd be glad they know the value of a good horse and that we still have them, and he'd love how Laney feels about her dog Mo. I think he'd be delighted that Obama is president. I fear that the next 20 years will pass even more quickly and that in no time, I'll be almost 80 - something I hate to think about.

and February is a hard month

I never have liked February. Daddy's been dead 20 years this month, which makes me dislike it even more. Though I miss him so, I'm so glad he's gone. He hated the cold weather as much as me, and he'd fought the battles of not-enough-rain, hungry-cattle, hard-times, and such for a lot longer than I have, and he'd fought enoug, it was my turn. I have a calf of Mother's that couldn't stand up, so I've been bottle feeding it since Tuesday night, and it has been a real job - it took me 45 minutes this morning to get it to swallow a bit less than a cup! It's gotten stronger and can walk around, so I know it is getting somes nutrition, but I also know it hasn't gotten nearly enough! I've been doctoring Winnie the Cow's infected eye for 3 months now - Denise Easterling gave me 2 shots to give her and told me after that to try to give her 1 cup Auromycin crumbles daily - it's gotten better, but it's been a slow go. She seems to have begun to associate me with her problems and seems to blame me. Mother has ladies that feed her lunches on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday (though that woman switches days at the drop of a hat) - and I try to go by each afternoon late and prepare her something for supper and leave a sandwich for the next day if that's to be a no-helper-lady day. Then weekends I try to do a bit better. I've been very tired lately, need to get my thyroid re-checked. If I could see lots of green grass, I'm sure I'd perk up.

February already!

It's hard to believe it is February already. I got to spend lots of time with Laney & Josey on Saturday - doesn't Josey look good in animal print! She had an animal print cradle sheet, so I think she'll probably always favorite that. Her mother looks gorgeous here too, probably because she's so happy. Thank God it rained last night. I went to Midway last night and played with Riley - we made snickerdoodle cookies, and I got to meet Monica/Bacula the pig, precious! Riley and I are making plans for a summer beach trip.

I celebrated another birthday.

I did catch Josey's cold, and fear she'll relapse if I'm around her. I celebrated my 57th birthday on January 26, and I received an 8 x 12 similar to the scarf photo here, just beautiful! I've had a good birthday week, though I missed school sick on Tuesday, so stopped up! The best thing about this time of year is that spring is just over the horizon! I bought myself the movie "Bucket List" for my birthday, but I dozed off in the middle and missed some of it and will have to rewatch. My bucket list isn't too dramatic - I'm working on smiling more, I've never been good at smiling at folks, and also working on being more friendly and outgoing. I had wanted to learn to make a good pie crust, and Laney said our family would be more likely to appreciate homemade tortillas, so maybe I'll try that!

I think I've caught Josey's cold, and am afraid to be around her, afraid I'll give it back to her! Woe is me!

ETC.

2009 seems to be rushing by. I missed work 1/15 and 1/16 to keep granddaughter, Josey, who is sick with RSV (bad cold in her lungs). She fought the breathing treatments so badly I wanted to cry, because I'm sure she thought I was torturing her. I hated to put her down the whole time she was at my house. Last night Nathan was out of town working and I spent the night with Laney and Josey. On Friday morning I had a close call when I opened the stock pen gate to let 2 horses from the pen out with the other 2. It was really cold, they were feeling frisky, and one mare, Cookie, was trying to take gelding Casey's hay as she went in the pen. He lunged at her with his teech barred, and she wheeled, ran me down without every seeing me, and rolled me. Thank goodness not a hoof touched me, but I saw her hooves as they passed inches over my face - so I was lucky. The muscles in my neck, stomach, and shoulder are all very sore! I saw some bad grass fires yesterday in Kurten - we are in serious need of rain. Every time we've gotten rain lately, it gets really windy and sucks the moisture right back out of the soil. I get to keep Josey a while again this afternoon - so exciting!

a new year!

It's the 2nd day of 2009 already - and a fall-like day, thank God! The holidays have been terrific, today's the last workday off, with our next day off MLK's birthday. I've got to get busy checking into retirement pay, to make sure I can really afford to say home next year to keep Josey -- I hope and pray!